I opened this thread because I have noticed that oft-times when a guy who is interested in a girl comes as a friend, he ends up being just a friend and gets stuck in the "friend zone".
Do you think it's apt to be friends before advancing into relationship or you do not need to be friends before you decide whether or not he/she is a potential romantic partner? Which way has been working for you? Mature responses please.
1. S3x
2. Relationship
3. Friends
4 Likes
jhydebaba: It works in this order...So that's how it works for you??1. S3x
2. Relationship
3. Friends
Personally, I don't give my trust easily. It is earned and you earn it when I relate to you as a friend, seeing how you treat others apart from me.
That way, the roots of love grow deep in the fertile field of friendship.
Most times, we are all too quick in jumping into a relationship, then we find out nasty things about the person, we find out we are not compatible, the person is insultive etc and then we start thinking of how to quit.
But as friends, you access this person to see if their worthy to be let into your life.
Any guy that asks me out, I request we relate first as friends, but I give him a SPECIFIC time he could expect an answer.
Pretending is out of it because he doesn't know what I'm looking for. And I'm the type who can tell a person's character by hanging out with them a few times.
#myopinion.
19 Likes
Absolutely.
lola.luv:I need the time frame before I comment on this.
Yes, I believe in being friends before dating.Personally, I don't give my trust easily. It is earned and you earn it when I relate to you as a friend, seeing how you treat others apart from me.
That way, the roots of love grow deep in the fertile field of friendship.
Most times, we are all too quick in jumping into a relationship, then we find out nasty things about the person, we find out we are not compatible, the person is insultive etc and then we start thinking of how to quit.
But as friends, you access this person to see if their worthy to be let into your life.
Any guy that asks me out, I request we relate first as friends, but I give him a SPECIFIC time he could expect an answer.
Pretending is out of it because he doesn't know what I'm looking for. And I'm the type who can tell a person's character by hanging out with them a few times.
#myopinion.
A year, 3 months, how long, how specific is your time.
I like dating first and then best friends while dating.
1 Like
Ur question get as e be? How on earth wont u be a friend before being a relationship.....is dat desperation or wat?
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rokiatu: I like dating first and then best friends while dating.Gbamest.
Why on earth should I have to wait for a girl for a decade before she says yes(waiting is a big risk on it's own, when I'm not even sure she will say yes), besides she will get comfortable with being friends and friend zone me.
2 Likes
jhydebaba: It works in this order...Certainly, if this is the order, then trust me, I will never proceed beyond one.1. S3x
2. Relationship
3. Friends
I don't need to compete before winning the gold medal.
Exponental: Marriage first, then courtship, relationship, friendship......ship ship!I-dont-get-u.Lez-say-u-see-a-girl-u-wanna-marry-now,U-just-marry-her-without-trying-2-b-her-friend-first?Ur question get as e be? How on earth wont u be a friend before being a relationship.....is dat desperation or wat?
;Are-u-serious?1 Like
jhydebaba: It works in this order...[quote author=jhydebaba]It works in this order.Joker,how-can-u-ve-sex-with-sum1-without-trying-2-b-friends-with-dat-person1. S3x
2. Relationship
3. Friends
k2039:
I need the time frame before I comment on this.A year, 3 months, how long, how specific is your time.
It depends on the person.
There was this guy I knew. One day, I had a luggage (was supposed to bike) but decided to walk home with it so I could clear my thoughts as I had just lost my best friend in an accident and was depressed and sad.
This guy came to help me with it and spoke to me in such a soothing way that I felt so much better. He only turned back in front of my gate.
Next I needed a book for an exam, he got it for me from a friend and dropped it off. We interacted on and off and got to know each other without him asking me out; he was so supportive. The day he did, I said yes because I already knew what he was about, a good man. So in his case, almost immediately.
Then, the case of my secret admirer. He saw me at an occasion and liked me. He got my number from a mutual friend and started calling me, right off the bat asking me for commitment. Pesin wey I no know, I refused!
So it was decided to wait till we could see face to face and to relate before then. It took months for us to see and when we did, we had already become somewhat chummy and my friend had spoken to me about him, so I felt more comfortable with him and he also got to really know me too. I wasn't in a relationship and to be fair to him, didn't go into any.
Note: If a guy didn't have potential with me, I wouldn't keep him hanging. I don't do that.
2 Likes
lola.luv:I hate the fact that I have to agree with you, you are right and I agree with your point.It depends on the person.
There was this guy I knew. One day, I had a luggage (was supposed to bike) but decided to walk home with it so I could clear my thoughts as I had just lost my best friend in an accident and was depressed and sad.
This guy came to help me with it and spoke to me in such a soothing way that I felt so much better. He only turned back in front of my gate.
Next I needed a book for an exam, he got it for me from a friend and dropped it off. We interacted on and off and got to know each other without him asking me out; he was so supportive. The day he did, I said yes because I already knew what he was about, a good man. So in his case, almost immediately.Then, the case of my secret admirer. He saw me at an occasion and liked me. He got my number from a mutual friend and started calling me, right off the bat asking me for commitment. Pesin wey I no know, I refused!
So it was decided to wait till we could see face to face and to relate before then. It took months for us to see and when we did, we had already become somewhat chummy and my friend had spoken to me about him, so I felt more comfortable with him and he also got to really know me too. I wasn't in a relationship and to be fair to him, didn't go into any.
Note: If a guy didn't have potential with me, I wouldn't keep him hanging. I don't do that.
Real life situations are dynamic and so will be your approach.
1 Like
ceewai lebi: It works in thisThat shouldn't be to hard for you to figure, a prostitut.e will be the denominator to his post.
order.Joker,how-can-u-ve-sex-with-sum1-
without-trying-2-b-friends-with-dat-person
many peeps that rush into relationships without knowing the individual later end up regretting when his/her flaws shows up.i prefer being friends with any gurl i wanna date before telling her how i feel about her.
1 Like
Yes I do. usually it is the best.
I opened this thread because I have noticed that oft-times when a guy who is interested in a girl comes as a friend, he ends up being just a friend and gets stuck in the "friend zone".
I actually don't.
So, "Love at First Sight" still exists?
How do you date someone you just met?
2 Likes
just make a sentence, i can tell 40 percent of u. so, relationship straight no friend
Friendship first.
Being friends before dating saves you a lot a problems.
1 Like
Hmmm...lots n lots of view. My opinion:
1. If u want sumtin more than 'just being friends', don't b friends for 2 long else u'd b stuck in d 'just being friends zone'...
2. Be natural:show what'r realy made up of,watch out 4 traits u might not like,don't b decived by that persona he/she shows...
3. Check if u'r compatible (if u'r in not 4 flings!).
4. Never pretend... Watch unnoticeably carefuly with scritiny! Men can b snakes and women can b cameleons!
5. If u realy wanna get the strings tied,pray. Yes,pray! I mean it, PRAAAAY!!!
2 Likes
be true friends first
lola.luv:
Yes, I believe in being friends before dating.Personally, I don't give my trust easily. It is earned and you earn it when I relate to you as a friend, seeing how you treat others apart from me.
That way, the roots of love grow deep in the fertile field of friendship.
Most times, we are all too quick in jumping into a relationship, then we find out nasty things about the person, we find out we are not compatible, the person is insultive etc and then we start thinking of how to quit.
But as friends, you access this person to see if their worthy to be let into your life.
Any guy that asks me out, I request we relate first as friends, but I give him a SPECIFIC time he could expect an answer.
Pretending is out of it because he doesn't know what I'm looking for. And I'm the type who can tell a person's character by hanging out with them a few times.
#myopinion.
terms and conditions because of a relationship, abegi
Better speak your mind early,oh. Before you waste time. If you want to be friends and it develops to something else, cool. But if you want a relationship, then are you really a good friend if you are pretending?
Most of you might find this unbelievable but sex can also be a pre-requisite to a friendly like relationship(only if the lady involved is above 25), friendship comes naturally between two people who've shared a bed and communicated(questions & answers) during sex. Using myself as an example, I find a woman who wants me to chase, woo and impress her everytime we go on a date only to say our goodbyes after that for more than a month, to be sexually unavailable to me. Anything more than a month of dating and gettin to know each other will leave me stuck in the friend zone unless being 'just friends' is what I want.
oraclefemi:lmao....u got ma ribs crackd! So many theories.. In practise,most of these conditions don't hold... !terms and conditions because of a relationship, abegi
Being a friend to a girl before asking her out for a date could ruin your friendship with her since she wont take you serious but just a friend. Get to know her first and if you are compatible.... Be courageous, straightforward, protect her comfort zone and ask her out. A little flirt like compliments is good though but not too much..
Source: http://www.nairaland.com/1139769/believe-friendship-before-relationship
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